Student: What's the identity property?
Me: Think about what you see when you look in the mirror.
Student 1: Oh, Jesus.
Student 2: Hah, ______ thinks he's Jesus.
Student: No, but my brother is the child of Satan.
Me: Do you realize what that would make your mother?
Student 1: Mother Theresa?
Student 2: Mary?
Student 3: Dead?
Student 1: Whatever, all I know is, I have come to replenish your sins.