So we're learning to solve equations using the distributive property in class. You remember:
a(b+c) = ab+bc
Apparently one of the 7th grade teacher helps kids remember it by calling the number outside the parentheses the "mama", and the numbers inside the "babies". The mama has to "kiss the babies". Someone brought that up in class today, and one boy was not happy with it.
Student: Mama and babies? That's lame.
Me: Okay, call it whatever you want. I don't care what you call it, I just care that you get the right answer.
Student: I'm going to call it "The girl kisses the boys".
Me: Wouldn't you rather "The boy kisses the girls"?
Student: Oh come on. I'm not a player, Mrs. S.
Later...
Me: Okay, now which value do we distribute?
Student: The girl! WAIT--I don't want to distribute the girl--that's gross!
I'm finally learning to joke with the kids :)
The Russia chronicals, part 4
Me: Okay, so we need to come up with some symbols to represent numbers. (student), what do you want to use as a symbol?
Student: *blank stare*
Me: Like, a star or a dot or something.
Student: OK, how about a heart?
Student 2: WITH SR IN IT, FOR "SOVIET RUSSIA"!
I think we're going to have a recurring theme here...
Student: Did you know that in Russia, (other student) eats babies for breakfast?
In order to teach the distributive property today, we sang a song I found online. It was to the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree":
Distribute me, distribute me
Across the whole parentheses
Distribute me, distribute me
Just multiply each term you see
(and so forth)
The kids loved it. A little too much.
Student: OMG MISS S--WE NEED TO GO CHRISTMAS CAROLING NOW!
Student 2: YEAH! LET'S GO SING IT TO THE MATH CLASS NEXT DOOR! (who happened to be taking a test and did not appreciate the noise from my room...oops)
Hah--I need to see if I can't come up with a bunch of math Christmas carols and let the kids who want to go caroling. I think that would be super cute. Or better yet, have the kiddos write the songs themselves.
We have a homeroom 4 days a week that is just 30 minutes of silent reading time. The kids are supposed to pick out novels of their choosing, and it's a half hour of "read whatever you want". I would have eaten that up as a kid--but not my students.
Student: I need something to read. Can I go next door?
Me: What do you need to get from next door that you can't find in my classroom?
Student: A girl's phone number.
Me: No--you can't read a phone number.
Student: Oh trust me, Ms. S--I would read that alllllll period long!
Glad to know it's not just math class they don't pay attention in...
Girl 1: Ms. S, Ms. S--do you know what they call hard work in Russia?
Me: Huh?
Girl 1: (in a Russian accent) In Russia, they call hard work "vodka"
Me: Where did this come from?
Girl 2: Oh, (other girl) really wants to go to Russia. She has all kinds of Russian quotes.
Me: Really?
Girl 1: Yeah, she wants to go to Soviet Russia.
Me: Too bad Soviet Russia doesn't exist anymore.
Girls: WHAT?!
Me: Uh, yeah...the Soviet Union was disbanded in like...1992 or something.
Girls: OMG I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL (other girl) TOMORROW IN MATH CLASS! THAT'S GOING TO BE SO FUNNY! SHE'S GOING TO BE SO SHOCKED IT DOESN'T EXIST!