*sigh*

My remediation students are being "teachers for the day", each presenting a 20-30 minute lesson on a topic of their choice (that we covered this year in algebra).  Today each student was supposed to turn in a script with what they were saying.  One student was unable to complete this task.

Me: [Student], how is your script coming?
Student: Real good.
Me: Can I read it?

Hello class, this is Mr. Lastname, today we are going to be doing some things that have letters and numbers. Ready?  Go.

Me: [Student], I'm going to be honest with you.  It scares me to let you be in charge of the class if this is your script.  I need to know exactly what you're going to say when you go up there, or else it's going to be a waste of everyone's time and you're going to look like a clown.
Student: Mrs. S, I'm going to be honest with you.  I have looked like a clown all year.  If I get up there and don't look like an clown, the class is going to be so shocked they will be unable to concentrate on the math anyway.  You should just let me be the clown.  It's for your own good.