Shoes, brought to you by 13 year old boys

Student 1: Dude, Ms. S, you should totally get some "Grape 5's".
Student 2: Yeah, you'd look so baller in them.
Student 3: They'd totally match this--*points to my purple cardigan*
Me: Are those shoes?
Student 1: Yeah, you should get them.
Student 2: Your husband would think you were so fine.
Student 3: He'd be like, "Oooooooh, Mrs. S, looking good today!"
Me: Yeah, 'cause that's how he talks to me.
Student 3: Okay fine.  "Oooh, K, looking good today!"
Student 2: You can't talk like that in school, it's unappropriate.
Student 3: What, she started it!
Me: I'm not buying $100 shoes.
Student 1: That's okay, they're one eighty.
Student 2: If you come home wearing them, then your husband will probably have to get some too just to keep up with your style, and then he can start selling them to make money.
Me: I like that he has a real job making real money.
Student 3: Are you saying that the money we get from selling shoes isn't real?
Me: I'm not buying myself those shoes.
Student 2: Will you buy me some instead?
Me: Get back to work.