"Ohmygod you guys, do you know what my mom did to me? She bought JEGGINGS. And then she told me she was going to wear them to SCHOOL to pick me up. Ohmygod, if she does that, I will never show my face in school again. In fact, I'll get a nose job."
Truth.
Student: That field trip was stupid!
Me: Aww, poor baby. They didn't let you have a wife?
Student: Nah, I had a wife! I had a good life! 25, married, and no kids!
Me: Hey, just like me.
Student: Except I made waaaay more money than you do!
We went on a field trip today to some facility where kids could practice their budgeting skills. They were each handed a "life situation" card, detailing their salary, marital status, and number of children.
Boy: Oh my God, I'm 25 and I'm married?
Girl: Oh my God, I'm 29 and I'm not married?
Maybe I won't be inviting Mr. S to class anytime soon...
Student: I wish you had married your high school boyfriend.
Me: What? Why?
Student: Because then I could have your husband! ZING! He's cute!
I'm not sure if he was kidding.
I had sent a student outside for back talking and disrupting class. He spends time outside a lot.
Me: Do you understand that when you do that, it really hurts my feelings?
Student: It does? What? Oh, I'm sorry Ms. S, I didn't know that. *Thinks* I didn't know teachers had feeling.
Budgeting...
Student: What does "Personal Choice" mean?
Me: It means you can donate as much or as little money as you want to charity--there's no set percent.
Student: I'm going to donate $1.
Me: Uh...your net 'salary' is $5800/month, and you're only donating $1/month to charity?
Student: What? That's like, $12 per year. If I do it for 80 years, that's...$960! That's a lot of money! They'll start calling me "Oprah Man"!
Oh dear...
We were doing riddles today. "26 L in the A" becomes "26 Letters in the Alphabet", "7 W of the W" is "7 Wonders of the World". All was going mighty fine, until...
"8 T on an O"
"EIGHT TESTICLES ON AN OCTOPUS!!!!"
Sometimes their vocabulary slip ups are quite unfortunate.
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