"You know that Bruno Mars is really a woman? That's why he sings that song "When I was your man." Because he's not one anymore."
Student: You know how you said we only had to do 7 problems for homework? I did NINE!
Me: Wow, good for you, you're such an over achiever!
Student: I'm an oral achiever?
Me: No, an OVER achiever.
Student: *stands up, waves arms over her head* I'm an oral achiever, I'm an oral achiever!
Co-teacher: *anxiously making slashing motions at his throat*
I feel old.
Student: Ms. S, have you ever been to a punk concert?
Me: Actually, yeah.
Student: Wait, what?
Me: Yeah, I used to go to them all the time.
Student: Ahahahaha, yeah right, Ms. S.
Me: I used to be the one that would crowd surf over people.
Student: Wait, seriously? What bands did you go to?
Me: Well, my favorite was Blink 182. I went to Yellowcard, Green Day, Jimmy Eat World...
Student: Did you ever go see anyone that was actually, you know, FAMOUS?!
Me: Uh, all those bands were pretty successful and had radio play.
Student: But did you ever see (random rap artist) or (other random rap artist)?
Me: No.
Student: Wait, what is punk?
We were multiplying binomials using area models, so I was trying to compare it to science class...
Me: Remember Punnet squares?
Students: *blank stares*
Me: You know, "big B, little b"?
Student: *blank stares*
Me: The way you find out if the baby is probably going to have blue eyes or brown eyes?
Student: What about green eyes? Is that when you mix blue and brown?
(note to self--talk to art teacher)
Me: No, green eyes are just another color. I have green eyes.
Student: OH MY GOD, ARE YOU RELATED TO THE HULK?
A girl came back from spring break with a completely shaved head. It was quite a striking change--she used to have long blonde hair.
Student: Hey Mrs. S--look! *points at head*
Me: Wow! That's a bold move!
Student: Yeah, well, I have just always had long hair and I wanted something different.
Me: You're quite brave--I'm impressed. Didn't Natalie Portman do that?
Student: Well actually, it was a black barber.
It's state testing time!
Me: Look at sample question #2. What is the best answer? Correct, the best choice is letter C, insert a comma. Are there any questions? Alright, you may click "Begin Test" and start working.
*student hand shoots up*
Me: Can I help you?
Student: I'm done.
Me: Yes, we all finished the sample questions, you can start the real test now.
Student: No, I'm done with the whole test. I already submitted it and everything. You were taking too long to read the examples.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)