Student: Wait, it costs $20,000 to adopt a kid?!
Me: Yeah, it's pretty expensive if you have to travel to a foreign country.
Student: Why do you have to go there?
Me: Well, you need to meet the child, fill out legal paperwork, etc.
Student: Can't you just mail the baby? You know, in a super padded box or something? Then it would be much cheaper.
Me: Uhhh....that doesn't sound safe.
Student #2: Just mark it "FRAGILE" on the side so it doesn't end up upside down, and send it express!
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Student 1: So you're like...30?
Student 2: No, like 25.
Me: I'm 26.
Student 3: WHAT? You told us your age?! I thought that was inappropriate!
Student 1: Whoa, and you're married! That's young!
Me: I've been married almost 4 years.
Student 2: Time for babies!
Me: No.
Student 1: No, Ms. S doesn't want to have a baby. *pause* You could adopt one, Mrs. S!
Student 2: Yeah! Get a little African baby so it looks like me, and name it [student's name].
Student 3: Uh, hullo. She should totally adopt a German baby, duh.
Me: That's a nice thought. It's awfully expensive to adopt a baby though.
Student 1: Really? How much?
Me: Like $20-30,000.
Student 2: WE'LL FUNDRAISE FOR YOU!!!
Student 3: YEAH! We'll have a car wash--
Student 1: And a bake sale!
Student 2: And a twitter--@GetMrsSababy
Student 3: This is SO going to work.
Student: I'm doing my homework, aren't you proud of me?
Me: That's awesome, good for you. Can I see your quiz?
Student: Oh, I'm not doing that. If I do my quiz, I won't have time to do my homework in class.
I have this poster in my room. It has been there all year. The kids finally noticed it today, seemingly for the first time.
Student 1: Your poster is wrong, Mrs. S. You should replace "cool" with "successful". That would be more accurate.
Student 2: Or you could just erase the word "Math". Then it would be really accurate.
"Next year, you should totally give the 8th graders homework over spring break."
"I did give you homework over spring break. You didn't do it."
"Oh. Yeah, I guess that's true".
Apparently the novelty of my whiteness does not wear off
"You're so pale Ms. S! You could be like, Edward's girlfriend. WAIT. Stand in the sunlight. I want to see if you sparkle!"
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