Assorted birthday quotes...

"It's your birthday? So we're doing nothing today, right? You don't want to work too hard on your birthday!"
"I woke up soooo early this morning and baked you all these cupcakes, but then I left them at home. Oops."
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MRS. S! Look, I did my homework, just for you!"
"I got you a pencil!" *5 minutes later* "Why aren't you doing your work?" "I have nothing to write with."

Then my favorite...the kids realized it was my birthday, and were saddened to find they had no gift for me. So they started finding things in the room to give me.

"I got you this eraser, Mrs. S!"
"I got you your computer mouse, Mrs. S!"
"I got you this laptop, Mrs. S!"
"I got you this file cabinet, Mrs. S!"
"I got you this whole classroom, Mrs. S!"
"I got you this kid, Mrs. S!" WAIT, WHAT? Sure enough, one kid was carrying another student towards me, attempting to hand him off as a present. Poor present child.